Is it easy for you to accept a compliment, or do you deflect? Do you think to yourself: “They are just wanting something”? Maybe you belt out a hearty laugh when you get a compliment because you think they are off their rocker!
On our show today I will be sharing How I learned how to receive compliments and the importance of why you should too. If this is your first time listening to Life In Purple, you will soon discover that our philosophy is simply this…. What you say is what you become. You certainly don’t have to believe me, but I would like to share two things that I discovered and still practice to receive a compliment.
When I was a little girl, I would often go to work with my dad, on Saturdays. Many times, my dad’s co-workers would say, “Awe, Look at you, you look nice today…. or even “You are so pretty.” Do you know what my response was?? I would quickly say, “No I’m not” and hide behind my dad or whatever I found bigger than me so I couldn’t be scene. My dad would quickly stop me and tell me to say “Thank You.” I would then reluctantly say “Thank you” and run away. I’ve often wonder at what age does insecurity set in? I know for me it was around age 6; but, you will have to listen to Episode 9 “No Longer a Slave to Fear” to hear my full story.
LIPTalk Nation, how many of you have refused a compliment, by saying, “You don’t mean that”, Especially about your looks?? Even though my dad told me to say thank you, a compliment was still very difficult for me to receive… Looking back and reflecting on my insecurities and why I had a hard time accepting a compliment was really because, I was hiding something that happened to me: something that was told to be kept a secret. Now, I want to ask you LIPTalk Nation, what is the root of your insecurities and why do you have a hard time receiving a compliment??
What I’m about to share with you isn’t rocket science and it’s something that you have heard before; but there are two things that I learned and still practice to receive a compliment. If you do these things that I’m about to share with you, then you will become more resilient and will conquer your insecurities.
The first thing I do when someone gives me a compliment is SMILE. See, I told you it wasn’t rocket science. BUT, maybe what you don’t know is that when you smile, and I mean a genuine smile, is that your brain produces all kinds of neuropeptides. According to Psychology Today, Neuropeptides are tiny molecules that allow neurons to communicate. They facilitate messaging to the whole body when we are happy, sad, angry, depressed and excited.
Dopamine which is the “reward” transmitter is released telling your brain that you like smiling and it says I want to do that again.
Endorphins are released when you smile, which acts like a natural pain reliever without any negative side effects….. and….
Serotonin is released when you smile and it works in your body as an antidepressant and mood lifter. This also does not have any negative side effects AND you don’t need a prescription for it.
I bet you will smile a little more now knowing this right?? Well, It sounds easy to do. But, I still needed to practice smiling. In fact, the more I practiced it, the more natural it was for me to smile when someone gives me a compliment.
In my experience when someone has a difficult time receiving a compliment, it is because of their own insecurities and most often times because they have experienced a trauma or a tragedy in their life, which then effects their belief system. So how do we change this belief system?? Well, here at Life In Purple we encourage positive affirmations. Smiling happens to be a form of positive affirmations because it produces the “feel good”transmitters in the brain.
Besides, smiling is contagious…. So the first thing I do when someone give me a compliment, is SMILE. (Smiling’s my favorite, by the way… Just like Buddy the Elf on “ELF”.)
SAY “THANK YOU”
Okay, Now you understand the importance of a smile and why you should do it when someone gives you a compliment, you are ready for the second thing that I learned and still continue to practice in front of the mirror; and that is to say “Thank YOU”. Again, I told you this is not Rocket science. Did you know that most people have a hard time saying “Thank you” these days, even more so after given a compliment. From my experience, the reason people have a hard time saying thank you (as like smiling) is because of their own insecurities and their belief system. You probably figured out by now that I’m going to tell you what happens to your body when you do say, “Thank You.”
Just like smiling produces dopamine, saying “Thank you” does too. Remember, Dopamine is the “reward” neurotransmitter in your brain sending signals to it saying, “I like this, do this again.”
Psychology Today also says the more gratitude you have you experience:
- less depression
- lower stress levels
- a faster metabolism
- better sleep
- fewer aches and pains
HOW GREAT IS THAT LIPTALK NATION???? Do you like feeling depressed? Do you like being stressed? I think I know the answer to this, and I know I didn’t like feeling depressed… So why not say thank you right? Especially when you look at it this way. So many good things happen to the mind and body when you SMILE and say “Thank You.” In Episode 20: Titled “Self Worth”, I mention how one of the things you can do to increase your self worth is practice a grateful heart exercise and that it produces oxytocin, the feel good hormone. Which goes right along with saying “thank you” after someone give you a compliment.
COMPLETE THE GRATITUDE CYCLE
Now it’s time to share the third thing that I started practicing to be more grateful and receive a compliment… and that is, To give a compliment back: Complete the cycle. According to Psychology Today, “Once you start seeing things to be grateful for, your brain starts looking for more things to be grateful for. That’s how the virtuous cycle gets created.”
Dopamine is still a factor here, remember the “reward” neurotransmitter… in fact, your levels are increased when you “give a compliment.” And this goes with the old phrase, “It’s better to give than to receive.”
THREE THINGS: Smile, Say “Thank you” and Complete the Gratitude Cycle.
I’m excited that my past does not define me. We are all in life together. So why not treat people the way you want to be treated. Even though smiling and saying “thank you” and giving a compliment back, might be the OBVIOUS things to do when you are given a compliment, but in reality most don’t. Just like when I was younger, My dad did pull me aside after I said, “I’m not pretty,” one too many times, He explained to me that I WAS beautiful and why I should say “thank you.” It just took me a really long time to believe him.
I know many of my friends have told me that they think it’s a form of pride if they accept a compliment. Are you struggling with this too? Do you believe God gave you talents? If you reject a compliment verbally to person who gave it to you, they could think you just called them a liar. Perspective, LIPTalk Nation. Don’t be afraid to take a compliment, especially when a person is being vulnerable enough to give you one.
I know many of my friends have told me that they think it’s a form of pride if they accept a compliment.
Thank you for reading this blog on Life In Purple. Where the broken can heal and the successful can conquer. If you’re thinking that this blog was just for you, or you have a story to share that connects with other blogs or episodes, I would LOVE to hear from you. Send me a quick email to Laura@lauraspragg.com or check out our website at www.liptalknation.com. Let’s all rise together and create a community that stops the negative talk. We ARE wonderfully made. What you say is what you become.